It has been an intense few months, preventing me from the opportunity to sit down and spend some time writing.  I feel like my posts may come off as mini lectures, but since most “blogs” are basically journals representing the individual personality of the “blogger,” here I go.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned lately revolves around integrity.

As a publicist and a sales person, I surround myself by very competitive natured people.  I am an EXTREMLY competitive person.  I always have been.  I didn’t want to ONLY receive 100% on tests in school;  I always tried to get the extra credit to take me above the 100%.

I like competition.  Wait…I LOVE competition!  I feel it’s healthy.  I think it helps motivate people; gets them off their behinds (not LITERALLY for me, as I never did branch out to being competitive in an athletic way..boohoo).  Competition helps people reach their goals.  I’ve been described by some as a “bull-dog,” in a “nice way!” HA-HA!  I have always been a goal oriented person that DOES NOT GIVE up on my dreams.  Nordstrom rejected my clothing line 3 times until I was able to finally have my clothing line placed in their stores;  I wouldn’t take ‘NO’ for an answer.  I’ve been working on an Oprah angle for-EVER, and now I have transferred my Oprah dreams and efforts to my PR clients.

That being said (or written), I strive to live my life personally and professionally with integrity; with a standard of moral ethics.  I am not naïve nor ignorant, but I refuse to step on other people in order to achieve success.  I am honest.  I consider how my words, actions, and decisions will impinge on those around me.

One of my Facebook friends posted the following status update today:  “It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” ~Errol Flynn.
Wow!  I have heard for so many years that I should worry less about what other people think about me; well, I think people should worry MORE about what others think of them.  If you LIKE the people you surround yourself with, then you may want to CONSIDER what they think of your behavior and personality.  I take note.  I listen.  Having 3 sisters, I get to hear about my flaws quite often.  I have MANY.  But, lack of integrity has NEVER been one of them.  I am grateful for that.  I am proud of that.  I wish more people would take the time to step outside of themselves; look inward; and observe how their actions affect others.  Our name is your BRAND.  How we get to the top will be remembered.  With INTEGRITY is how I climb.

Sorry, Machiavelli, I just don’t agree with you!

It is NO secret that we Americans (if not the entire world) are at an all time high with stress levels.  The economic impact on our cortisol levels is not too favorable.  So, as I think about what makes the difference on a day to day basis on my moods, I immediately remember an Oprah episode from many, many years ago regarding how our moods affect our own children’s moods.   I cannot recall the entire Oprah show from that day, but I remember walking away with new significance placed on how I would welcome my then little girl every day at pick up time from school.  I made more of an effort to have a smile, big hug, and lots of love, knowing how important it is for the self esteem and mood of my child.  I tried to do this regardless of what my day may have been like.  I need to get back to this level of self-awareness.
Really, we are all children at heart, aren’t we?  Don’t we all need a little warmth and kindness, especially to help mitigate the high level of anxiety that many of us seem to have lately?  I may be unique in my level of sensitivity and reaction to others, but what takes only a moment from us can have such a lasting impact on others.  I believe studies have been conducted on the contagiousness and positive effects of a smile.  I know it does for me, so I want to pass it on.
From the UPS Store girls, to the McDonald’s employees, to the Vons cash register gals (well, okay…I don’t really do the grocery shopping), to my husband, to my fellow professional partners, to the sales vendors, to my 3 children, to my friends and other family members…I know that a smile and courteous behavior that only take but a moment of effort on my end can help make them feel a LITTLE less stressed.  I’m not so arrogant as to think that I can control someone’s handle on their stress level, but I am experienced enough in life to know that I can help in a very small way.  So, guess what?  I’m resolved to do it.  I need to become more aware of my presentation, even in times of stress.  Just as with our own children, I feel we also should be more conscious about our interaction with EVERYONE on a day-to-day basis, including strangers.  Smile.  Be courteous.  Say hello.  Think about how we make others we come across each day feel.  We are human beings, and therefore we all have hearts and are all affected by those we come into contact with.  So, let’s try to have a positive effect. 
Pass it forward!

I have become obsessed with Facebook and LinkedIn!  Each serve different purposes in my life, and I’m excited to share with you some of my social networking and marketing secrets.

If you Google LinkedIn and/or Facebook, you will find pages and pages of relevant information to explain the benefits of each of these social networking sites. 

Although many use LinkedIn as a way to make connections, I use LinkedIn.com as an online resume.  If a potential client wants to Google my name, I love that my LinkedIn profile is usually the first link that pops up under the search.  Although I still have more I can build upon with my LinkedIn profile, I do have a summary of my work history and education. I also have recommendations from past and current positions, as well as from personal friends.  My websites and blogs are listed, and I update what I’m working on to let my connections know what is going on in my professional world.  LinkedIn is my way of communicating my professional attributes and activities to MY PUBLIC.  Here are a few tips I would like to share with you:

·        Make sure your linkedin.com URL contains your name:

1.      Go to “edit your profile”

2.      Look for your “Your Public Profile URL”

3.      Click “edit”

4.      Enter in your name so that your URL incorporates it

5.      Hit “set address”

6.      Add this profile URL to your email signatures, business cards, AND TO YOUR  FACEBOOK!  I’ll discuss this later.

·        Include past work history, and make sure to have at least 3 letters of recommendation ranging from your past to current positions.

·        List any websites or blogs you have onto your profile for better visibility.

·        Use one of the available blog applications to have your blog entries automatically updated on your profile.

FACEBOOK, on the other hand, has provided me with great enjoyment as I am able to stay connected to friends in my life, and reconnect with friends from my past!  This social networking site is addicting.  I find myself on it quite often to find out what my friends are up to, and to browse through the photos that are continuously uploaded by my network of friends.  My life has only become busier over the past couple of years with work, husband, children, sisters, nephews, and MORE.  It has become harder to be on the phone chit chatting; Facebook has become a great alternative.  I do hear complaints about this whole new texting, emailing, and social site way of staying in touch being too impersonal.  I completely disagree. My carpel tunnel is acting up, so I won’t get into the debate now.  I will just state that I feel Facebook has allowed me to get MORE personal with people that I haven’t been in touch with for so long.  And as for my close friends that I do get to speak with more often via the phone and in person, Facebook is a fun way to interact and be playful outside of that.  Although Facebook is more of a social networking site for personal purposes, there are many ways to use it as a means of letting your friends know what you are up to professionally as well.  You can read all about the Fan Pages, Groups, etc. online. But, I want to give you a little bit of information that has helped me keep my network updated of my business world.

·        In your profile page, fill out your information tab completely.  Include website information under the contact section of your information tab.

·        Under your profile picture, you will see the “information” box.  Move your mouse over to the upper right hand corner until you can click onto the “edit” icon.  Check the box “website”, so that your website will be visible to your friends.

·        Add your unique LinkedIn link to your profile page on Facebook:

1.      Search for the “my LinkedIn profile” application

2.      Go to application

3.      Allow

4.      Copy and paste your LinkedIn URL into the appropriate box

5.      Select your preferred badge style

6.      Add to your profile

7.      Confirm it on your profile wall

8.      Move the LinkedIn badge up or down your profile wall to your desired location

·        Add your blog network onto your profile page on Facebook:

1.       Find the “networked blogs” application

2.      Go to application

3.      Add a new blog

4.      Fill in the appropriate information

5.      Hit “next”

6.      Select yourself as the author, if appropriate.  You will need to send out requests to 10 of your friends to confirm you are the author.  Once confirmed, then your blog will be listed under “My Blogs” vs. “Blogs I like”

7.      Then go to the “my blogs” tab

8.      Add the blog to your profile wall

9.      Go back to this “networked blogs” application

10.    Search for your friends blogs and/or blogs your friends are reading

11.    Join those networks as well, if you would like them to appear on your profile page under “Blogs I like”

·        Have your blog entries automatically posted to your wall:

1.      Find the “My Blogs” application

2.      Go to the application

3.      Enter your blog address

4.      Submit

·        Have your status automatically updated with your latest blog entry, if desired.  I personally have chosen not to use this option at this time:

1.      Set up a twitter account

2.      Set up your RSS Feed URL for your blog at www.feedburner.com

3.      Go to www.twitterfeed.com and open an account

4.      Enter in your blog’s RSS Feed URL

5.      Find twitter application on Facebook

6.      Log in using your twitter login/password

7.      Allow your status to be updated by twitter

 

I am still navigating my way through both LinkedIn and Facebook. I anticipate finding many more useful tidbits, and will gladly share it as I do. Feel free to comment back with your own hints!

I believe I’ve always had an innate ability to communicate with others in an effective manner. That is not to say I’ve always utilized this ability. I am embarrassed as I recall my lack of effective communication in high school due to my immaturity and many other issues; my insecurities and anger causing quite ineffective communication in my twenties; my fatigue that all working mothers (and this also includes mothers who work as mothers) battle causing some inappropriate communication in my thirties.
However, I do proudly admit that I learned one of the most important tools regarding communication about a decade ago which has become embedded in my subconscious: “I understand (this) about you, but (this) about me, therefore…”
It is not about being insincere; on the contrary, it is about finding the sincerity to bring down the “opposing party’s” defenses to enable them to hear what you are saying. By taking the time to search how to fill in the blank for the first part of this 3 part phrase, it means you MUST truly try to understand the other side BEFORE expressing your own side. I wish I could go on CNN with Anderson Cooper and declare this simple phrase that would truly make all of us such happier people.

How many times do you feel that the message you are trying to get across is NOT GETTING ACROSS? How many times does a simple request turn into an argument? How many times do you walk away from trying to resolve a problem, only to have made the problem worse and created bitterness in the process? Whether it is a mother trying to discipline her child (I understand that you wanted to go to the movies with your friends tonight, but we feel it is important for us to have a family night;, therefore, we will be all going out to dinner as a family this evening) OR a husband trying to explain why he can’t comply with his wife’s latest request (I understand that you want to getaway and go to Vegas next weekend to relax and enjoy time away, but our property taxes are due next week; therefore, we need to prioritize our expenses) OR a wife trying to get through to her husband (I understand that you are working all day long, but I am also working all day long here with our three beautiful and high demanding children; therefore, when you come home, I need to immediately take a little bit of time to unwind), if we could just implement this method of communication into our everyday lives, our children, parents, spouses, employees would be able to “hear” so much better what we are trying to “say”.